My confidence has always fluctuated, but it took it’s biggest hit at the hands of my ex-boyfriend. Whether we like to admit it or not, our confidence doesn’t always come from ourselves, and we do look to others to boost it.

Unfortunately for me, he knew every single thing that I was insecure about in my life and filled my thoughts with self doubt. It started with my body – he said I was too fat, my boobs were too small, my bum wasn’t big enough, my skin was disgusting. Then it moved onto my university work – I could try as hard as I wanted, but I would never get the grades I wanted, whereas he didn’t have to try at all and still do better. And then onto my relationships – that none of my friends really liked me and no body cared about me. I let this loser bash my self-confidence for 2 years.

When someone you love tells you things like this over and over, you do start to believe it and over time it just completely erodes your confidence.

Slowly but surely, I started to work out that there was no truth to the things he was saying. It got to the point where his words were no longer like knives because I knew myself and knew that I was better than what he was trying to reduce me to.

I realised a long time ago that these were abusive tendencies, but I finally developed the strength and the confidence to stand up for myself. I didn’t care what he said anymore, and things that once made me cry for hours, made me laugh at his pathetic attempts to keep me vulnerable.

There is a confidence and a defiance that comes from being torn down for so long, and honestly I don’t think my confidence had ever been higher than when I ended that relationship. Know that no matter how hard someone may try to tear you down, that you will always rise up.

Love, Hannah x